Sunday, July 27, 2008

Klee Irwin wants to increase the size of your shit!

Ok, so I am on a wacky infomercial kick here lately. For the past couple of years, there has been an infomercial running for a product called "Dual Action Cleanse." One of the oldest pseudo scientific health claims out there is that your colon is, quite literally, full of shit. The only problem is most of the shit never comes out. According to these health "experts", this extra shit is the cause of all of your physical woes and illnesses. If only you could get it all out you'd feel so much better. Well, guess what? You're in luck! The product being promoted will clean you right out! Needless to say, this claim has no grounding in reality. It is complete bullshit. But, since gullible folk keep falling for it, people keep selling products to serve this need.

The most recent and most entertaining is Klee Irwin. He is this creepy John Waters looking motherfucker that loves to talk about the length and girth of not only his stool but also that of his children. I shit you not! (That will be the last pun, I promise) Below you will see a clip in which Klee talks about the astonishment he experienced when his young daughter took a huge shit. He almost seems like his ego was bruised because it was bigger than his own! I must admit, as men we do tend to take a special pride in producing enormous turds.

What really adds to the surreal nature of the Klee Irwin infomercial are the two touch holes hosting this alleged talk show. They nod, smile, and laugh right along with Klee just like they were discussing a fucking Yankees game. I know that's what they were paid to do. But you know they had to be thinking "this dude is really fucked up." They really earn their pay by A) not laughing at Klee and B) not blurting out "are you shitting me???" (OK there's pun number 2) I just noticed the notation about the second pun also contained a pun, oh well. Anyways, enjoy these classic clips of Klee . . .

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